This post is taken from The Rainbow Heart blog by Barbara Marie Babish in 2010.
Because My world revolves around ME, I see everything from my own perspective. I see all things as My work, My car, My kids, My home, MY opinion ! We are conditioned to do this. It is natural. To open our eyes and see from another perspective will give us much more freedom and understanding. The freedom will come from expanding our awareness and the understanding will come as we see from another point of view.
I ask you to practise looking at things from another person’s perspective…
An example of this would be…. Wife and mother of four, she was a stay at home mom, for many years. She was home all day with four kids and was tired by supper time. Handling the kids as well as doing breakfast, the clean up, washing a load of clothes, putting them in the dryer, folding them and putting them away, taking everyone for a walk to the park, then lunch, cleaning that up…well you get the picture. The physical jobs were just part of it. The mental pressure that a stay at home mom is under, is horrendous. The organizing of everything as well as the physical safety of everyone comes into the picture. So then at five pm. Hubby comes home….he eats supper and goes and watches TV. Duh!!! Are you kidding me?????? She needed a break! She wants to sit and watch HER TV show!!! Well really, of all the nerve! She was at home with the kids all day and he comes home and wants to watch TV!!!!!! She feels unloved, disrespected and just plain tired.
Now let’s look at this from hubby’s perspective. Gets up every morning from Monday through Friday at 6am. Has a shower, eats and goes off to work by 7am. He would love to sleep in some days….some days he’s really tired from all the pressure at work. Pressure too from being the only “bread winner” in the family. Sometimes he’d like to tell his boss to “shove it” but he knows he can’t. He has to support his wife and four kids. He can’t just do what he wants….he has to keep this job and keep the money flowing for his family. He comes home, eats supper, although sometimes it is just “hot dogs”. He wonders that day…geez can’t she cook a decent supper for me? She’s home all day long, what else was she doing all day??? He feels unloved, disrespected and just plain tired.
If she could get him to look at her life, and he could get her to look at his life, well you get the idea. They would each in turn understand the other, and find a way to give each other a break…or at least a little more love, respect, and attention.
When we look at this example we can also take it and use it in several different but similar ways. The parent and the teenage child can “see” through each others eyes. It just takes a few minutes but can change the relationship and their own personal happiness as well. Take the elderly mother and her adult child. They could do this as well. Two neighbours could do this. Take a minute to “see” THEIR life, from THEIR perspective. If you can’t do this without personally sharing with them, then take the time to ask them questions about their life. Take the time, to understand where they are coming from. It will happen naturally at some point that you can share where you are coming from. Share how you are seeing things.
This can all be done in loving conversations. It doesn’t have to be mad, angry shouting matches. Seek first to understand and then you will be understood.
Blessings, Barbara Marie
